fRaGmEnTaTiOn

Today I woke up feeling so free, so strong, so ALIVE.

I was feeling a kind of inner peace I haven't felt in years.

The air was coming into my lungs and becoming a part of me.

My emotions, for once, were also a part of me.

I was living every single sensation coming from outside and inside of me as a whole.

I was a whole.

Unfortunatedly, it didn't last long.

You appeared from nowhere and everything started falling apart.

I felt myself breaking into a million pieces, pieces which didn't fit together anymore.

Every single fragment of my SELF wants something different

I don't know who I am, I don't know what I want, don't know what to do.

I'm craving for you, I certainly am, in the strongest and deepest way.

But also, I wish I could get rid of this need of you...

I wanna run away and I so wanna stay...

I wanna love you and I wanna stop loving you...

Tears are running through my warm skin, warmth that comes from my perception of you.

Ambivalence, ambiguity, incoherence, confusion, fragmentation.

All of them sharing a space, all of them invading me...

I wanna be a whole, I wanna be perfect...

But that's impossible since the day I stopped being THAT to you...

Diana